7 Of The Worst PSX Games Ever Released
The original PlayStation had some truly amazing games, filled with unforgettable storylines and wonderful gameplay that would keep you entertained and immersed for hours on end. There were so many games that you just could not drag yourself away from. That’s probably why it is one of my favourite consoles ever.
However, the games in this list are not those games. Instead, I thought it would be good to take a look at some of the worst games ever released on the PlayStation. This is both a bit of fun for me, but also a warning to anyone collecting PSX games, so that you know to avoid these ones unless you are trying to get a complete library collection. Even if that is the case, you’ll know to get them and then lock them away, never to see the light of day! You’ll be doing the world a favour, trust me.
So, let’s take a look at 7 of the worst PSX games ever released, shall we?
The Fifth Element
Movie cash-ins are well known for just generally being crap, and The Fifth Element is no different. That is, it’s not so much a downright terrible game… Those are at least memorable for how bad they are. Instead, it’s just lacklustre, dull and ultimately forgettable. That’s not what you want from a video game tie-in to an actually rather decent and enjoyable movie.
The levels were poorly designed, feeling more like they were put together in Microsoft Paint rather than an actual game engine. The controls were abysmal and the AI was less intelligent than a flea… All of this built up to create incredibly boring gameplay and a game that most people probably forget even existed.
If you find this in a car boot sale or charity shop, pick it up for your collection, but don’t ever expect to enjoy it… You’ll probably forget you even own in anyway.
South Park: Chef’s Love Shack
South Park has had a really bad past when it comes to gaming. I mean, the newest games on the current console generation are amazing! But when you look at all of the games that came before them, you can’t help but think “it’s about time”. From the awful first-person shooter game that started it all to games like Chef’s Love Shack, each one has been as terrible as the last… So yeah, when it came to the PS4 and Xbox One, it really was about time for a good South Park game. But anyway, I digress.
Chef’s Love Shack was an attempt to mix the quiz game genre with the party game genre in a weird mash-up of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Mario Part, with South Park thrown in for good measure. It features all of the typical South Park humour, but it uses it in such poorly thought out and implemented ways.
For example, you need to determine whether things just “suck” or whether they were made in Canada… That’s an entire category in the quiz. If you’re hoping for a fun trivia style game to add to your collection, Chef’s Love Shack will certainly let you down.
The Simpsons Wrestling
It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of wrestling. I’ve always thought that the sheer athleticism and risk associated with “sports entertainment” is incredible. On top of this, wrestling games are some of the most enjoyable “fighting” games out there. With PSX classics like WWF Smackdown and WCW versus The World, we were treated to some real gems. That wasn’t the same when The Simpsons creators decided to cash in on the idea with The Simpsons Wrestling.
To begin with, despite being called a wrestling game (I mean, it’s in the title of the game), not a single character actually does any wrestling moves. That’s a pretty big issue straight away, wouldn’t you say? Secondly, it suffers from the gameplay issues that are rife within low-quality fighters… You can be effectively unstoppable by just mashing the buttons in random orders and hoping for the best! So not only does The Simpsons Wrestling fail as a wrestling game, but it can’t even manage to be a mildly average fighting game.
Considering how much fun later The Simpsons games like Hit & Run would be, it’s a shame that this truly terrible piece of PSX gaming history has to spoil the legacy of these comical tie ins. Avoid this one if you can, or just leave it on your shelf collecting dust if you can’t.
The Crow: City of Angels
I’m actually a huge fan of The Crow. The comic book is amazing, and the first movie was a classic. Rest in peace Brendan Lee. However, the second movie felt very poor in comparison to the cult classic that is the first… But, in order to drive more interest (and to make a few more pennies), yet another movie cash-in game was created. Of course, that already means that it is going to be bad. I mean, almost all of them are.
The graphics, to be fair, were pretty good. However, The Crow: City of Angels was a great example of why graphics aren’t the be all and end all of game design. The gameplay is a huge aspect of games, and that’s where this abomination really fell flat on it’s face. The fighting controls are horrendous, and whilst there is a variety of different weapons you can get, the collision detection is so bad that you’ll be swinging through the enemies as if they were ghosts.
All in all, this is easily one of the worst PSX games ever made and deserves to be at the back of your shelf, hidden away from sight.
What’s the best way to take advantage of a doll’s popularity, but also the popularity of gaming? Why, you create a Tomb Raider copy and throw Barbie into it, and then put it into a blender with all of the worst parts of platformer games and 20 pints of terrible gameplay. Mix it well and you’ll end up with Barbie: Explorer.
If you ever wanted to see what a game built entirely on adventure game cliches and stereotypes would like this, then this is what you’ve been searching for. I mean, it only has four levels, so at least it finishes quickly… But those four levels couldn’t be more generic if they tried. In an effort to help you understand just how “deep” this game is, here’s a full list of all the game’s levels.
- A desert level in Egypt.
- A snowy level in Tibet.
- A jungle level in Africa.
- A supernatural level in Babylon.
The first thing to say here is, why are Egypt and Africa considered different? I mean, did the developers not realise that Egypt is part of Africa? Did they thing Africa as a whole was a single country? Or did they mean to say, South Africa? Either way, it’s a complete fail on their behalf. Secondly, do you now see what I mean by “utter cliche”? You couldn’t get more generic with your extremely limited level choice if you tried!
Add to this some of the most mind-numbing boring gameplay (in an adventure game, for Christ’s sake) and you have the most powerful insult to Tomb Raider after Angel of Darkness itself…
Hooters Road Trip
When you look at the PlayStation’s racing game library, what is the first thing you can think of to improve it? I’m guessing it isn’t to tie it into Hooters, the “restaurant” whose unique selling point is the assets of its female waitressing staff. If it is, then you may have just found your favourite game of all time… But if you’re like the rest of us normal people, then the sheer idea of this sounds just as stupid and horrible as the game itself is.
With some of the worst graphics to ever be seen in racing games, Hooters Road Trip is as lucky to look at as it is to imagine. And this is coming from someone who is known for not really caring that much about graphics.
Add to this the fact that the controls are dreadful, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for an utterly awful racing game. I mean, I like to have responsive controls that don’t take ages to react… And I like my cars in racing games to turn when I want them too… But when you only so much as brush the D-Pad or analogue stick and the car is suddenly going 90 degrees to the right, you know the controls are utterly screwed.
I don’t even know where to start with this game. The graphics are some of the worst 3D platformer graphics I’ve ever seen; they actually hurt your eyes when you are trying to concentrate on the game! And who wants to run around in a game world made up solely of geometric shapes, with no actual “world” to speak of?
Add to this the fact that the camera had a mind of its own, flailing around all over the place and making you feeling motion sickness just trying to move around the game, and you’ve got one hell of a bad game. But that’s not all it had failing for it. The actual controls were a nightmare, so if you jumped to try and reach a ladder, you’d feel like Superman.
Everything about Bubsy 3D is terrible, and honestly, the game deserves to be thrown into the trash heaps along with E.T. This game should never have been made, let alone released!
And That’s All Folks
Those were 7 of the worst games ever released on the PSX. Whilst the console did have some truly outstanding games, and a tonne of great games, it certainly had its fair share of abysmal disappointments and utter failures. Whilst I might buy some of these for my collection (if they’re about £0.50 or so), I won’t willingly play these games ever again.
What do you think the worst game on the original PlayStation was? Let me know in the comments below!