One thing every parent wants to be able to do for their child is give then a proper, magical Christmas. They cannot wait to see the sparkle in their child’s eyes when the idea of Santa coming fills their minds. I, for one, cannot wait to witness my daughter’s first real Christmas experience.
That’s why I feel so guilty that, for her first two Christmases, she hasn’t had that at all.
Christmas So Far
Her first Christmas was as close as we could come, with the decorations up and the biggest tree that we could find. We made a big meal, and tried our best to create as enjoyable and exciting day for her. However, at the time we were really low on cash. So even though we were able to get her some nice presents, it wasn’t as magically as I would have hoped.
Then, this Christmas was even less magically. You see, we are (hopefully) moving house in January. It’ll be our first home that we own, so all of our money has gone into the deposit and solicitor fees, with any extra money coming in being put towards the moving costs and decorations of the house.
This means that there were no presents for our daughter at all this year. Thankfully she is still too little to really understand Christmas, so she wasn’t disappointed. But getting everything ready for the move also meant that we didn’t have any time to sort out a tree or decorations. In fact, we didn’t really have a Christmas at all this year. It just felt like any other day.
Going Forward To Next Christmas
By the time next Christmas rolls around, the little punk rock princess is going to be 3 years old. She’ll likely have a much better understanding of what Christmas really is, and what it can be like. She’ll probably know who Santa is and have an idea in her head about how amazing everything will be.
That worries me a lot.
You see, whilst we will be saving up money every month for the next year, and won’t have a deposit to pay for, anything can happen. After the utter failure of the last two Christmases, I’m so worried that we’ll end up with the same thing all over again.
So, we’ll be doing everything we can to make Christmas 2018 as amazing as possible for her.
Dealing With The Guilt
One thing that I’ve learnt since become a Dad is that I never truly knew what guilt felt like before. There are so many things you will always feel guilty about. Whether it is Christmas, the first time they bump their head into the wall when not looking where they are going, or anything else… You’ll never, ever forget those moments.
The trick is dealing with the guilt.
Every parent needs to find a way do handle it, and every parent will deal with it differently. Me? I do what I can to make sure she is as happy as she can be… Without spoiling her. I do my best to make as much of the time I have with her after work and at weekends.
But it never feels like it is enough, as I mentioned in my Dad Guilt post… And that’s something that you have to learn how to deal with as well. I haven’t found out how to do that yet…
So, if you have any advice, please leave it in the comments below! It’ll help me, and also help other parents too.