Now, as a Dad there are always times you are going to make little mistakes that, in hindsight, you really should have known better than to do. It’s a given, and it is going to happen. That said, there really isn’t any reason not to laugh about them afterwards, right? I mean, we all make mistakes… The important thing is laugh about it afterward… Oh, and learn from the mistake too.
So, I thought it would be fun to look at some of my dumbest Dad moments so far…
Forgetting Her Shoes
We’ll start with the simplest of mistakes… One that you’ll probably end up doing multiple times. You see, when it comes to going out when you have a kid, be it for shopping, play time or anything else, the actual act of leave the house becomes a blurry, high speed mess. You have to pack their nappy bag, make sure you’ve got extra food just in case they want a snack, change the inevitable wet nappy that happens as you open the front door…
Basically, leaving the house with a toddler is seriously hectic. So, there have been a couple of times where we’ve gotten in the car, driven for 30 or more minutes to go to our “local” Tesco Extra, and only then realised that we forgot our daughter’s shoes. Yep, she is sitting there in her socks.
So what do we do? Well, we rush to the nearest clothes shop and buy some new shoes for her. And let me tell you, baby shoes are not cheap. You don’t want to have to keep buying new ones over and over just because you forgot to put a pair on your child when rushing around.
Leaving The Cloakroom Unlocked
This was, originally, not something we’d ever really thought about. I mean, we had always left the cloakroom toilet unlocked, because you wouldn’t be able to get in there otherwise. It wasn’t until my daughter was about 18 months old that she decided it was the most interesting room in the house. She would constantly open the door and try to play with the sink.
So, we got the point where it was just easier to lock the cloakroom from the outside when it came to play time. The princess would pull on the handle, and try as hard as she could to open it, but eventually stopped paying attention to the do all together. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that the door was there for months. It seemed like it had worked and she was no longer interested in going into the cloakroom.
That is, until that one day when I forgot to lock it… She’d managed to throw one of her favourite toys behind the sofa, so I was trying to get it out. Meanwhile, she decided to try and go into the cloakroom, randomly. She got it, grabbed the plug, and pulled it and the chain out of the sink! My daughter managed to snap the clip thing that holds the chain behind the porcelain bit of the sink…
She came running up to me and put the plug in my hand with the biggest smile on her face. I, on the other hand, just did a facepalm.
Going On A Trip Without The Pushchair
Similar to the first point, my wife and I had decided to drive to Lincoln for the day. It’s a beautiful city (especially the old town near the castle), and we love it there. However, it is over an hour’s drive from us. So, imagine how much our hearts sank when, as we got into the city centre, we realised that we had left the pushchair at home.
Yep… We had driven over an hour before realising that we didn’t actually have a means to travel on foot with our darling daughter. Now, we could have driven home, picked it up and came back, but that would have taken over 2 more hours out of the day. Instead, we rushed around the centre of Lincoln, the princess in our arms, until we finally managed to find a shop with a pushchair in stock that wasn’t too expensive.
And that’s why, to this day, we have two pushchairs; the original one for going on long days out, and the cheaper one we bought in Lincoln that never leaves the car (except when we are using it, obviously). That way, we’ll never get into that situation again, right? Well…
Leaving The Spare Pushchair In The Garage
Just a week later, I decided to take the princess out to Peterborough. I thought I could take her around the shops, buy some toys and clothes for her, and maybe go to CeX and get some games. I got half way there and had to stop for petrol. At that moment, I looked into the back of the car to give my daughter a smile and noticed that the spare pushchair wasn’t there.
Suddenly I remembered; I’d cleaned the car earlier and put it in the garage…
That was another facepalm moment of stupidity, and after getting the petrol sorted, I drove home and picked it up. The day was a reasonable success in the end, but I still can’t believe I did that just a week after the last time…
Accidentally Teaching My Daughter A Turkish Curse Word
We’ve all heard the stories and laughed at the idea of a child’s first word being a curse word… Admit it, you have. However, it actually happened to us. Thankfully she hasn’t repeated it since (well, not much anyway).
The story goes as such; my wife’s mother had come over from Turkey to visit and see her granddaughter. She, my wife, my daughter and I were all in the living room. Whilst my wife and mother-in-law were talking, I was playing with my daughter. We’d recently bought her one of those buses with different shaped holes in, where you have to put the correct shape through the correct hole. She didn’t like to play like that.
Instead, she grabbed the thickest and pointiest shape, walked over to me, and pushed it into my forehead as hard as she could.
So, in a jokey voice, I said the word “pislik”, which literally translates as “dirty” but is used in slang form to refer to someone as their backside. My wife’s family say it is a playful way, saying “pisluk” instead, as a joke way to talk to each other. However, it happened to be that moment our daughter decided to use her voice. She looked me right back in the eye, smiled and said the same word back to me. Right in front of the mother-in-law…
Thankfully, everyone found it hilarious.
Cracking My Face Open On The Kitchen Door
Ok, on to the final and most painful dumb Dad moment… The time I cracked my face open on the corner of the kitchen door…
You see, it was lunch time, and one thing I can say about toddlers is that they are very picky with food. I had already tried 3 other types of meals with my daughter that lunch time, and each had ended up on the floor. By now, she was obviously very hungry and also very angry that I hadn’t used my mind reading abilities to determine the exact food, texture, heat and positioning of the bowl & spoon that she wanted that day.
So I ran back to the kitchen, got the next meal ready in the microwave (an absolute last resort baby’s ready meal), put it in her favourite bowl and turned to run back to the dinning table.
However, the world had other plans. In ended up launching myself (at full speed) straight into the corner of the aforementioned kitchen door. And man, it hurt. I staggered for a couple of seconds, now understanding what the “groggy” state in wrestling games referred to. After those few seconds passed, I put my hand to where my head hurt, and realised that half of my face was covered in blood (and that isn’t even an exaggeration).
Now obviously I could not let my daughter see me like that. So, I ran into the cloakroom (which was unlocked because I’m an idiot), washed the blood of my face and put a small plaster on my head. But hey, at least she ate her meal after that, right?
And That’s All Folks
That was a list of the dumbest Dad moments I have experienced so far. Yet, I’m sure there are lot more still to come. Hopefully they won’t be as painful as cracking my head open, or as expensive as having to buy a whole new pushchair, but they’ll definitely happen.
What are some of your dumb Mum or Dad moments? Let me know in the comments below!