Have you ever been sitting around with friends or colleagues and starting talking about life at home? Has that conversation then devolved into them saying how busy their lives are and they just need to rest when they get back to their sanctuary?
It happens a lot to me, and I’m sure it does to you guys too.
And then you hear it; the phrase that just makes your brain twitch… You joyfully join in the conversation about feeling tired, and they turn and say “it must be nice to just sit with your kid and have a break every night”… Or something along those lines…
At that moment your head jolts, your eyes squint and the cogs in your brain go into overdrive, trying to work out the meaning behind this foreign words; “break”. It’s one of those things that just makes you question life… And that’s why, today, I’m going to list out some of things you shouldn’t say to a parent…
It Must Be Nice Getting Some Much Free Time
Now, this is more for Mothers who are on maternity leave or stay at home parents, but it can affect anyone. For example, if your child is sick, you need to stay home from work to look after them.
All of the parents out there know what this means. You are about to have a day of explosive nappies, run noses, crying and moodiness from your little one. It’ll be tiring, stressful and nerve-racking as you do your best to make sure your kid is happy and getting better.[ctt template=”5″ link=”2z44c” via=”no” ]”You must get so much free time” – Things not to say to parents! @marketing_punk #dadblog #parenting[/ctt]
Yet, when you go back to work, people seem to think you spent the day (or days) sitting around in your PJs watching Jeremy Kyle and eating ice cream. They actually act jealous of you because of that day off you had! It’s hilarious to see their faces when you explain what it is that you’ve actually been doing. Especially when you suggest a trade of places next time!
Why Don’t You Come Out With Us Anymore?
Okay, so look… I know I used to be a a “fun” person who would come out at night and drink at the bar, pub or local rock music club… But that’s kind of changed now. You know, my priorities aren’t exactly what they used to be.
This is one of those things that I still get today, 2 years into being a parent. I am constantly asked to go out in the night and drink and party. Sometimes I’m “advised” to get a babysitter for the evening so that I can “have some fun for a change”. But guess what!? I’ve spent the week at work each day, not actually being able to spend time with the little princess, save for about 2 hours in the evening.
Yes, I know I haven’t been out and spent time with you guys for months, and no offense, but I prefer my daughter over you. So when it comes to getting some free time, I’ll be choosing to spend it with her.
You Look Tired
Oh really? That’s a shock…
As a parent, have you ever been told this? It’s especially annoying when you’ve got a newborn, as you quickly realise that sleep deprivation is actually just a normal way of life for parents. Be it waking up to feed the little one, comfort them after a bad dream or change their nappies, there are hundreds of different reasons why parents don’t get enough sleep…
So when you see someone who’s bright eyed and bushy tailed from a full 8 hours of sleep, and they tell you that you look tired… Man, the amount of different punishment ideas you can come up with is crazy![ctt template=”5″ link=”YdGd3″ via=”no” ]”You look tired…” – Things not to say to parents! @marketing_punk #dadblog #parenting[/ctt]
Seriously, the last thing to say to a tired parents is anything that will remind them that they’re tired. We parents live with sleep deprivation almost constantly… Especially for the first couple of years of our child’s life… In such a state, we don’t need reminding of it. In fact, it’s best to avoid the topic all together! Talk to us about cheese or something instead.
If You Ever Need Anything…
I’ll be honest, you can say this but I’m not going to ask… Thank you for the kind gesture, and it will be appreciated, but it’s kind of wasted when it is so open. Going back to the whole sleep deprivation thing, if you say this to a parent of a newborn or a young toddler, it’s pretty pointless. Why? Because we don’t really have the mental ability to look into the future. We’re just too exhausted.
It would be far more useful if you offered something specific. For example, you could say “I can bring some dinner around one day” or something like that. Doing this would mean that we don’t have to try and work out what you can help with. It also means we can eat something better than a cobbled together mush of left overs.
Try And Get Some Sleep When Your Baby/Child Does
Oh wow! What a great idea! We’d never have thought of that… But then, who would get the washing done? What about cleaning up the projectile poop that’s all over the place from the last nappy change? It’s even worse if you’re using a breast pump, because the time when the baby sleeps is when you turn into a dairy factory.
Whilst this is actually some really good advice, in practice it just don’t work. Even if there are two parents at home, and one does the housework whilst the other takes care of the child, it still won’t work. Neither parent will be able to sleep when the child is awake, so the parent doing the housework wouldn’t get any sleep, as they will need to be doing it when the child is asleep… And then they won’t be able to rest when the child is awake.[ctt template=”5″ link=”bi8fB” via=”no”]”Sleep when you child does” – Things not to say to parents! @marketing_punk #dadblog #parenting[/ctt]
In the end, sleep becomes a luxury, and you learn to function with very little of the stuff… It’s the only real way, unfortunately…
And That’s All Folks
Those are just some of the things you shouldn’t say to parents, along with alternatives on how to say them in a way that won’t bring demons to this world…
Have you ever had one of these things said to you? How did it make you feel? Or are you guilty of saying similar things to parents and getting it thrown in your face because they’re just too tired? Let me know in the comments below!